Friday, June 27, 2008

Go For the Guv

The Genius Doctor has informed me that there is another application for Minion. I greet this news with some trepidation, as I fear the halving of my supply of Mouseheads. I determine to strike a blow for the Hidden Paw that will not go unnoticed. I resolve to begin my acquaintence with the leader of these free isles, too long in peaceful slumber- The Guvnah himself.

Luckily, I find him on the ingenious torture device he has had constructed- A Furries Wheel, I believe he calls it. Creatures are barred into seats and slowly spun to oblivion! Brilliant madness! It has yet to be submerged, but once it is in the water it shall serve to coerce his enemies to adopt Caledonian correction quickly!

I found him on it's trial run, I sat myself down on the seat, next to Miss Mari (of new Taloo) and chatted amiably.

Once his suspicion eased, I struck! Activating my Hypno-wheel and fixing him with my eyes, I bent his will to mine! Bwauh-hah-ha! I first asked for copy/mod rights...for all of Caledon!!!

He resisted, and mentioned Estate Manager rights...but then explained this was mainly Janitorial, returning lost or discarded objects...I considered, but it sounded like -work- to me...I hesitated a moment too long, and in a flash, his IM Storm Super-abilities rescued him. He was off to manage some tier payment issue! Poof he was gone!

Alas, I fear the Doctor will not be impressed. Next stop, the mousehead barrel, then the backyard, to cache it!

Look Who's Watching

How often have you wished you could be in the den of some wily adversary as they spoke of their plans for -or to somehow prevent- world domination? Plenty, if you're in this line of work. For the Doctor's pleasure I created two such devices that allow just this opportunity! Portrait-boxes where you are the subject!

A fancy box, with a profile portrait-

Or a simple-life size depiction-

One has but to put one out in the study-room of one's foe, hop in, watch and listen as your adversary unwittingly chortles about and spills his or her most guarded plots and plans for your evil eavesdropping pleasure! Bwuah-hahh-hah-haha!!

Fashion Show Face-Off

I had been asked by Miss Discovolante (after some prodding, I'll admit) to participate in a Fashion Show for Tinies. Ah-ha! I thought. The perfect place to test my new Widespread Hypnotising device! Certainly, if the attendees did not carry mice, they would actually -be- mice, or know where they would be found! A bonanza, Bwuah-hah-hah-haaa! I would feast well.
The party raged, well was the time to strike!

The hypnowheel was activated! I read my demands to the assembled crowd- but mice were not forthcoming; Instead, a call went out for funds to bribe a Super-hero-type to awaken and stop me! Curses!!!

And who appeared, but Wonder-gator-Woman!

I stood shocked at her presumption to challenge me. We exchanged unpleasantries and set to each other's throats there on dance-floor. Alas she was formidable, somewhat slimy, and armor plated. I admit distraction by the novel lizardy curves, and ended up quitting the dance floor and my hypno-plans. But, I say, she/he/it has not seen the last of me, Oh no! The day shall come when she flops in futility at the feet of the Hidden Paw! Bwuah-hah-hah! I need new boots! Bwuah-hah-haaaa

Thursday, June 26, 2008

A Night or two in New Taloo

The land is contracted for, and building will commence soon in the New Algeirs swamps, So I journeyed there again to make measurements for the basement crawdad-pit I plan to install. Soon, their palates will be trained for gomer gumbo- Bwuah-hahh-hah!..heh. But first, after some verbal sparring with Group-Action-Captain (or whatever) Zoe Connelly, I accepted a ride-along with Mr Henri as, I believe, he scouted possible bootlegging routes.

Jostling and jumping along, we sped through swamp and bayou, street and sidewalk, until we were both quite shaken and stirred. A notable engine in this car!

I've made contact with a soul sympathetic to the plight of Evil Kitty Genius here in one Miss LxxxXxx (name omitted for security purposes) who shall serve as a valuable contact in the goings-on about town and in New Toulouse proper. Hopefully, she can instruct me in the local Patois and culture here, that a kitty such as myself may blend in all the better!

Of Babbages and Kings

Took an evening to explore the Babbage sims. Sooty and grim, though full of ingenious machinery!

I soon realize I couldn't swing a human without hitting 3 other mad scientists, it's so thick with them here. There's something to be said for being unique in one's trade: Overthrow would be difficult with so many competing evil agendas, each more diabolical and nefarious than the last!

I think I shall fulfill my position more easily in Caledon and New Toulouse, and leave this place to it's own devices, for now at least.

Welcome to the Neighborhood

One night after cleaning the labs I noticed a small group nearby, and went off to investigate. Gathered in the darkness I spied the Metal-Man Hassenov, and the Noted busybodies Elladriene Laval and Air-Stewardess-Captain (or whatever) Zoe Connolly. They were plotting and planning some sort of propaganda, so I sat and watched for a bit. Eventually they summoned me closer, and I bade them a pleasant good evening, at which point they distracted me by displaying some photos for a magazine in production. Once I was unaware, they sprung their trap! They loosed a wild tiger at me!

Luckily, I speak some dialects of Tiger, so after warding off the beast with my Iron claws, and startling it with several cannon-shots, I was able to convince it to be subdued. I climbed to it's back and rode it, much to the amazement of the fiendish trio who had summoned the beast! But at their shouts, it threw me off again. Again they urged it to attack. Eventually, they bored if this sport, and called the vicious beast off.

Miss Laval reiterated that The Doctor was being watched, despite my protests that she was but a misunderstood genius and merchant. This shall not end here! They shall feel the discomfort of comeuppance, when on their knees before her they beg for mercy, bwuh-hah-hah!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Dirty Jobs: ETK Labs

Evenings at the lab has become an enjoyable routine for me. For it, I often take a neko form so I can reach all the tall places that need dusting. My rounds begin with inspection for nefarious traps and devices left by one of the Doctor's many adversaries. I proceed to dispose of leftover corp... er, evidence of the day's activities. These are dragged to the nearby Moors, where another anonymous headstone will easily go unnoticed.

Next, synchronization of the Cavoritional engine the Dr. has constructed. Checking energy levels in the capacitors, and washing the window-tubes.

Then comes feeding the other occupant here, the Doctor's experiment in Bio-organic manipulation:Chuckles the Rat, or Mr. Squeaky, as I have come to call him. He enjoys long walks in the basement, but has learned the hard way not to nibble from the mistress' cheese.

Next a short break, gazing in adoration at the Mistress's portrait, sighing contentedly in awe of her magnificent genius.

Then, to keep myself in fighting shape, I don my fighting jammies and practice my katas!

After the work-out, it's back to the grind, sweeping the levels- we shed a lot, it seems!

Finally, a good scrubbing of my sleeping-area, removing any lingering spray. Nasty stuff!


"Wax on, Wax off...wax on, wax off..."

Prowling New Taloo

I've heard much about the bustling Port town of New Toulouse, and have decided this would be an excellent place to expand the grasp of the Hidden Paw, should the Evil Doctor ever wish to do so. With this in mind I took a leisurely day casing the city.

Her citizens are gregarious and prone to indulgence, it seems. This is a good sign. Fertile fields to find new sub-minions, should they be required!

Sipping my brew, I sped through the winding streets, till I spied an advertisement for new property- an expansion into the nearby swamps of New Algeirs is planned. Ho-ho! Quickly I reserved a plot for a secret safehouse. Excellent.

Soon the cry will ring out- "Y'all bow down now, Y'heah?" Bwauh-hah-hahh-hahh!!!

June: Success!

The interview went well, The Dr. has accepted me to the position. No bloodshed this first day, per her instructions. She is generous in giving me both a bounty of fine juicy caledonian mushroom-fed mouse-heads, and a dedicated scratching post/pell.

I am content with the duties assigned so far, and look forward to the apprenticeship!

May - Coming to Caledon

May- Have arrived in Caledon after arduous journey. Have sent a "Special" resume along to the Doctor applying to the Minion position. Have a little free time before the appointment. I shall put it to good use, researching the mechanisms of state, and how they may best be thwarted! Bwuh-hah-hah-hah!!

The streets of the capital seem quiet- oddly empty of soldiers and guardsmen, beggars and thieves. I stop in a local shop...

Hmmm, I shall need a new set of clothes to blend in here...

Further along I see a large government hall, stealthily, I make my way in...and assume the seat of power!

I sit in state, sole ruler of Caledon! This was an absurdly easy coup! Long may I reign! I ready my edicts, and wait for the underlings and legislators to arrive...

Confound it! Where are they!!!??
I remain waiting in the empty hall for over an hour.
They are wily, indeed.

Giving up on this I continue exploring..ah-hah! the Governor's Palace! Perhaps I can "persuade" him into a granting of move/edit rights! ..bwu-hah-hah! I prepare my "Claws of Convincing"..

Empty again! But I find his plans for world domination brazenly displayed for all to see, The Hubris! How I admire it!

Soon, sir, ...Soon you shall feel the thorns in this Realm of Roses! Bwuh-haah-hhah-hahha!!!!

Still laughing softly (but maniacally) under my breath, I journey on to the Tiny Evil Kitten Labs, for my interview.

Saturday, June 14, 2008


April. Received instructions from the dispersed brotherhood to travel to Caledon, there to carry on the struggle against the imperialist forces that have brought us ruin. My mission: To apprentice to the known genius and Evil Tiny Kitty Dr. Malegatto Alter, aiding her in anyway possible to wake the Caledonian nation from it's long nightmare of peace and sobriety, and embrace her leadership as it should.

I say goodbye to the serene mountains of my homelands, it's citizenry once orderly, now tea-huckstering and appeasing to the Caledonian swarms that seek to invest and infest the countryside with their sickly waistcoated cheerfulness, and pollute our precious chat lists with their cheeky innuendo and un-ending event announcements... this is one event they shall not foresee! The revolution will not be advertised! Soon the sims of the Caled lands will tremble at the might of evil tiny kitty genius! Then shall the Doctor's dictates be obeyed; among them the ending of the "altering" of kitties, equal-access laws for Tinies, and mice upon demand for Evil tiny kitties! (I'm sure there's more, but these are the ones I'm excited about. She's smart. She knows what to do, I'm sure.)