Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Whaler, Part 2

The journey to the viking lands in search of Viking crew having proved mostly fruitless (I did find some recipes on how to make bland food even blander, a few nice axes, and some unattended sheep to accompany me back to New Taloo, where I shall likely set up a mail-order bride business catering to Caledonian bachelors) I nevertheless pushed on my studies of the art of cetacean angling- this time finding a willing but nervous bunch of sailing-folk on Amity Island.

They were kind enough, but as the prey began to eat away parts of the boat, I thanked them and bid a hasty retreat. A trip to the library and a quick reading of an abridged Melville yielded better results.

As for crew, I was lucky in in the willingness of Oddkitty Bedlamie to accompany me. Wary of nosy fishing inspectors, she agreed on a naval outfit that might help ease our way out of any such detainment or investigation! How distracting indeed!

As I had fishing rights to Steelhead, I reasoned I have rights also to the whales that principally dwelt there. Therefore, if I could catch one that was merely vacationing elsewhere, I reasoned this was still fair game. So rather than setting course to the now-empty waters of Steelhead, we instead charted for the waters of Winterfell, where fell beasts are known to roam. Very quickly we found whale-sign! "A behemoth off the port bow!" was the cry! We tacked closer-
A mighty chase was had, tacking and running in tandem with the beast, till it slowed- alongside we crept-

A boat was lowered, we climbed down and paddled closer!

All at once I jumped on the beast! A mighty harpoon in hand!

Bedlamie, fierce and graceful, joined the hunt! The beast was o'er matched!

A fine catch! Bedlamie pulled it on board, and we sailed our prize back to New Taloo (after a quick shopping expedition to Winterfell)

The filleting completed, the canning now begins in earnest!
To be marketed as "SALMON-ella" "A mystery fishy food-product from the makers of Krazy Kat Kibble. Now with more Opiates!"

Just look for the rust-colored label!


Darien Mason said...

You MURDERER!!! Didn't you know Sushi the Whale was a duly Deputized member of Steelhead's law enforcement???

Rhianon Jameson said...

Good luck with those sales. Otherwise, it's "Good God, not whale again!" over and over for the next six months.

Riven Homewood said...

Who gave you whaling rights in Steelhead? I have never heard of this -- I thought Iason had them.

Riven Homewood said...

I think Iason also has the rights for Caledon and Winterfel, come to think of it. What rights there are -- I believe they are very strictly limited. (/me IMs Greenpeace to tell them to watch Mr Quan and Bedlamie, as well as Iason)

Evil Tiny Kitty said...

*clucks her tongue*

In my minion's defense, you have not heard of EVERYTHING, Miss. The whaling rights were granted to him by Steelhead's managers.

And Doctor, Sushi and her pod were not in Steelhead's waters.

Mr Quan, now that is settled and I do hope that you saved a bit of oil for my lamps? i do believe I am running a bit low.

Riven Homewood said...

Mr Quan, please accept my apologies. I have checked with the management at Steelhead and they tell me you do indeed have whaling rights there.

Henri said...

Ah, Cato, nice strike! It is too bad your new hobby has caused you to experience some social disapproval.

May I suggest a kindler, gentler way of whaling? For instance, Harpoon and Release?