Sunday, September 14, 2008

Kitten of the Damned


Please forgive the length of this report, but much has happened this month-past. First, the Odkitties sponsored a gathering in New Toulouse Algiers, to draw more visitors and conduct an informal census of the active members of the community, and announce our benevolent (heh)intentions through civic improvement and celebration. This event was greatly aided by the assistance of Oddkitty level-2 Instigator Karima, shown plotting here-

The event featured a Blues performer and was very well attended by his various groupies and minions, and by those of New Toulouse who could make it. Later, we took advantage of the assembled crowd to test the strength of the Zombie army being harbored under the old church nearby; but more on that another time-

Once the festivities had completed, stock of the state of New Toulouse was taken. Although it was successful, one of it's hoped-for attendees, local magistrate Mama Cree, had not appeared. Nor had she been seen for weeks. Concern was raised of the state of uncollected vagrancy taxes, and piling-up bootleggers' kickbacks going unclaimed. Her absence was a mystery! Twice I checked my underground vaults to verify I had not nabbed her accidentally. Luckily, my record keeping is thorough, and her name was not found among the registry of crawdad food, nor in the rolls of Zombie army subscription. I smelled opportunity!

Now was the time to seize the reins of power! Not myself, no; I abhor the detailed work of administration- I meant to find someone pliant to the soothing suggestions of the hypno-device, who, experienced in the mundanities of civil service and engineering, would serve as puppet-king of New Toulouse!

Who could it be? The Guvnah of Caledon? He has shown himself immune to the device! and so skittery and hard to find at times...

Brief research provided another candidate!---

TotalLunar Eclipse, of the Steelhead sims. Builder, administrator, manager. Elf. ...elf? (Tensai, another manager, equally adept, had big warning letters posted over her name.) So! the elf it shall be! Muh-haaah-haaah!

My fist reconnoiter of Steelhead was brief, but gained valuable information. First, the Hypno-wheel was not as effective as hoped; and second, I would need a bigger bag than my surveillance intelligence had suggested.

A clever ruse was needed! Donning the guise of the popular American icon Santa Claus, I would invite him to the North Pole to join the other "Elves" working there! A splendid plan!

As a sweetener, I enlisted the aid of the voluptuous Oddkitty Bedlamie as elf-temptress, and we set to Steelhead in sleigh to fetch our waiting victim..

Alas, all did not go smoothly, as related here-
I blame the interference of the sausage-breathed Baron Wolfenbach for the plan's failure!

Part Two.

Despondent at my failure, and at the expectation of the the Evil Tiny Kitty Dr. Malegatto's displeasure, I comforted myself by a visit to the Sanctuary Club; where I am wont on occassion to dance into the late evenings, ruminating over failed endeavors, and sputtering oaths of dark revenge under my breath..

White on white translucent black capes
Back on the rack
Bela Lugosi's dead
The bats have left the bell tower
The victims have been bled
Red velvet lines the black box
Bela Lugosi's dead
Undead undead undead
The virginal brides file past his tomb
Strewn with time's dead flowers
Bereft in deathly bloom
Alone in a darkened room
The Count
Bela Lugosi's dead
Undead undead undead

As I danced my sultry eastern kitten-dance, I caught the attention of a scantily, but artfully-clad woman, and of her slavish minions, who cooed and purred, under the spell of my strong kitty-pheromones (I bathe in a vat of it each morn.) Their leader-mistress cordially invited me to her castle for kibble and catnip. Being welcome for the company, I accepted.

Her castle, for she was Queen of this realm, was vast, and interestingly appointed. Queen Txxxxs invited me to roam and explore as she attended to the business of her minions. I wandered, interested, and following my nose found at last the Kibble-hoard to sate my belly.

On a near cushion I curled up to find my rest...sleep and drowsiness coming quickly....

I recall soft footsteps.. the soothing voice, reassuring..

Closer it grew....

My hypno ray! Malfunctioning! A dull pain!

I awoke hungry again. My body weakened, I roamed in a fog, escaping the confines of the castle, slowly regaining my wits and health.

I felt all was right, but decided to avoid the castle until I could be fitted for a spiked collar.
The day past, I asleep, blaming a multitude of Gin Fizzes for my state. As evening approached, I received an invitation to tour the Manse of Oddkitty Kiralette, Duchess of Middlesea and Illlyria. Perhaps there would be room for an Oddkitty smuggler's den?
As her grace greeted me, she lifted me in a hug, and woe- her catnip-based perfume overcame me - I admit I nipped at her neck! Affection, I say! but there the pin-prick holes were, tiny blood droplets marking them- I licked the wound clean to help, but the damage was done- as she swooned I fled!

What regret I felt! Am I a thrall? I had not tasted the blood of the vampire-mistress, yet some affect had arisen!

Soon, a summons came from Dr Malegatto! I answered obediently, reporting to the Lab...

She was stern and cool in manner, pointing out my faults- I had brought attention to her organization through no scheme of her own. I begged for my life, the doctor merely bade me follow to the lowest labs...

I was under her control now, light faded, the room spun, her angry gaze fixed upon me...

And here I awoke...A cure in store. What is the Cure she speaks of? I hope it's the band... but I don't expect it is..


Rhianon Jameson said...

It could be the band - I understand a new wax cylinder will be available this Fall. I would find that to be a generous gift from one's mistress.

I will continue to follow your exploits with interest, sir. And to avoid future encounters with the Jolly Old Elf, just in case he turns out to be an impersonator.

Evil Tiny Kitty said...

Well, if anything, I am glad you are cured Mr Quan. I do so hate minion searching.